Laredo, Texas – Juan Solitario, the 23 year-old triangle player for Banda Gigante, a Mexican Norteño musical group, is contemplating leaving the band because he’s feeling left out of the 18-member group.
“Whenever we go on tour, there’s like 60 of us in total and I just feel like they forget about me all the time because I’m just the triangle player,” said the lonely musician. Juan added that when on tour in San Diego, the group made a trip to the San Diego Zoo, and nobody told him, and then in Phoenix, they went to the Desert Botanical Gardens, and left him at the hotel.
“Es que somos un chingo, y pues a veces se nos olvida el Juanito,” said Juan Solitario Sr., the band director and Juan’s father. “I was even left out of the album cover photo, because they went with the picture they took when I was in the bathroom. I had been practicing my posing all week!” added Juan. “Just yesterday, after practice they ordered tacos for everyone, but forgot my order. I was starving, y no me ofrecieron ni un pinche taco,” concluded Juan.
The self-trained triangle player also expressed frustration that most band members seem to hook up with woman on tour except him. “Look I can’t help it if the the bass, tuba, and vocalist are always the most popular guys in a banda. That’s just the way it is,” said Abel “El Perico” Guzman, the band’s bass player and financial manager. Juan’s father added, “I told him for years, deja ese pinche triangulo, no vas a jalar viejas asi.” But even the maracas kid, little Pepito, gets girls, according to Juan, and he’s only 13 years old.
Juan Sr. and Abel think Juan just has to make himself stand out more. Abel added, “I mean look, he’s the triangle player; I’m not even sure anyone would notice if he didn’t play during the songs.” They suggested he get a new “look” that would help him get noticed more, like Slash from Guns N’ Roses or Paco from Banda La Migra who has his hair in cornrows. “Chics dig cornrows,” said Abel.
Based on the recommendation of Juan’s mother, Margarita, also the group’s wardrobe manager, Juan Sr. organized an all-band meeting to discuss the treatment of Juan. However, reports indicate he forgot to invite Juan.