BREAKING: House Republicans and super PAC protesting bill they claim is “political correctness at its worst”

This afternoon the White House press secretary made an announcement that the Obama administration will be urging lawmakers to pass a proposed bill that would require the U.S. national anthem “The Star Spangled Banner” to be sung in no fewer than three languages other than English at all public and government events. Several House Republicans are protesting the bill, commonly referred to as the Melting Pot Bill, saying that it is a step in the wrong direction for the US progress and that lawmakers should not ever concern itself with accommodating other cultures and languages, or even acknowledging they exist.

“I don’t know what country the increasingly Socialist and anti-American Obama administration thinks this is, but the national anthem, a sacred song our founding fathers wrote, should only be sung in English, which is the first and only language of this great nation of ours,” said one Representative from Pennsyltucky at a gala thrown by the anti-Melting Pot Bill super PAC Americans for American Progress and Freedom. At this gala, the leader of AAPF stated in a speech, “This [bill] is political correctness at its worst. First they make us provide all official government forms in various languages, and now this. What’s next? Anti-discrimination policies and pay equity for everyone regardless of gender and background? It’s not the government’s place to make anyone feel at home in America or that their lives and culture are or equal to that of English-speaking, God-fearing Americans, and that is why the AAPF is against this proposal.”

The White House announcement made just hours ago indicated that the Obama administration’s decision to support this bill was inspired by the recent Coca-Cola commercial that was shown during the Super Bowl, in which “America the Beautiful” was sung in multiple languages. The commercial, which is just a commercial and played during a pointless yet entertaining sporting event that an insane number of people in the US watch every year, sparked intense outrage among a particularly obnoxious sect of America’s racist idiots who think the visible presence of any cultures other than their own is an attack on them, personally. It is this type of misguided outrage that the AAPF claims to be its own inspiration for fighting the Melting Pot Bill.

The Obama administration stated that while it had no plans to cease the unprecedented number of deportations, protect anyone’s civil rights and privacy, or sustain the integrity and scope of social services that US citizens and immigrants alike pay into, that passing the Melting Pot Bill would hold “symbolic proof that the government is cool with everyone, which is just as important.”

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