The Bachelor’s Gay Comments

Latinos everywhere rejoiced when it was announced that ABC’s hit show The Bachelor would star its very first Latino.

Sure, he doesn’t look how most Latinos look. He’s not even Marco Rubio white, but white white — blond- hair-and-blue-eyes white.

Guess the producers figured viewers would accept diversity only in small doses. So they found an all-American-looking guy with a Spanish name and a Vergara accent.

Eight and a half million people tuned in to watch the season premiere a few weeks ago, marking a three-year high for the show. Then, on Friday, as if on cue, Juan Pablo Galavis said something awesomely stupid.

When he was asked his thoughts on a possible gay or bisexual man starring on the show in the future, the hunk who has millions of American women taking a break from the Fifty Shades trilogy every Monday night — with his perfect smile, kind eyes and devil-may-care hair do — did what he’s expected to do on the show: he went with his heart.

“I respect them but, honestly, I don’t think it’s a good example for kids.”

Says the man who’s marched in front of cameras to choose the love of his life from a group of 20+ women in a sleazy, elimination-style, prime-time reality show. And here I was getting my moral standards from the likes of the Dalai Lama, but that wrinkled chump doesn’t even host his own daytime talk show.

Like the moral authority that he is, this beautiful, wholesome Venezuelan paramour continued with his homily:

“There’s this thing about gay people that, uh, it seems to me, and I don’t know if I’m mistaken or not — but I met a lot of great, you know, I have a lot of friends and that — but they’re more pervert [sic] in a sense. And to me the show will be too strong, too hard to watch on TV.”

According to the lovely Galavis, two men kissing would be “too much” for a show like The Bachelor (but apparently not The Bachelorette.)

Wait, this is the show where people compete to marry a stranger for money, right?

Luckily for most Latinos, they can truthfully say they’re not with stupid.

Whereas they used to be a pretty backward bunch when it came to man-on-man love, now a majority of Latinos support same-sex marriage, thanks in large part to the younger crowd and college.

Galavis is young and went to college too, a Christian college in fact, which I’m sure has absolutely nothing to do with his views on gay people. Come on, guys. Pope Frankie’s Latino and Christian, and he’s pretty tolerant toward gays, even his handlers aren’t.

Anecdotal evidence trumps all.

And as if the latest John Paul’s views on homosexuality weren’t dumb enough, his attempt to apologize was even dumber.

Galavis posted on his Facebook page on Saturday that he didn’t mean to say “pervert,” but because “English is my second language and my vocabulary is not as broad as it is in Spanish,” his comments sounded very different in English than what he meant in Spanish.

If what you meant in Spanish was “perverso” (“depraved”), then I think we pretty much got the gist of your views the first time, JPG.

“What I meant to say was that gay people are more affectionate and intense and for a segment of the TV audience this would be too racy to accept,” the post goes on to say, leaving the public to wonder why ABC didn’t hook this guy up with a decent PR agent.

So, if I can translate for Mr. Galavis, being a bilingual Latino myself, what he means to say is that while your average heterosexual would only go so far as to make out on TV, if you had gay guys on The Bachelor, they’d be licking and tugging each other all over the place.

You know, because gay guys are, uh, he has a lot of gay friends, and they’re super affectionate.

While I would never call on a network to fire one of their Latino stars (the Latino unemployment rate is sky high as it is), in a perfect world the remaining ladies (?) would refuse to compete for such an ignoramus, no matter how charmingly Latin he is, leaving Galavis to go “affectionate” himself.

Here’s hoping.

[Photo: See-ming Lee 李思明 SML via Flickr]