On Sunday, the Oscars proved to be either a marginal success or a marginal failure. I feel as though it feel somewhere in between excruciatingly terrible to not too excruciatingly terrible. First, I wanted to die with the fake sounding laugh breaks given by a ridiculously chipper Anne Hathaway. They seemed like an attempt to thwart any suspicion that she were a robot who was programmed to not only be annoying, but also try way too hard to be funny. Then the distraction of the barely there, sleep deprived looking (let’s just give him the benefit of the doubt and go with that) James Franco who could barely keep his eyes open, let alone my attention. I hate Ricky Gervais (which does surprise many), however, I could see myself having a much better time with his actual humor and raunchy comedy. These Hollywood cunts take themselves way too seriously and it is always high time someone drop them down a few pegs.

As for the red carpet arrivals, there was definitely a push for warmer colors such as reds and oranges, classic blacks, metallics, and embellished neutrals. My favorite trend of the night was the color red with Jennifer Lawrence sporting the best look in Calvin Klein. Penelope Cruz also dazzled in red L’Wren Scott barely a full month after having given birth to a baby boy. The fact that she looked that good after having expelled a brand new person from her loins confirms my suspicion that she is a witch.

Sunrise Coigney, Mark Ruffalo’s wife was the best dressed of the dates in a right gorgeous Jean Paul Gaultier. Michelle Williams in a modified Chanel was my favorite of the embellished neutrals and as always, Natalie Portman looked amazing even if she wasn’t pregnant in purple Rodarte. Anne Hathaway missed the mark often during the telecast but her penultimate dress which was by Armani Prive was striking. Other hits of the night were Jennifer Hudson showing off a gorgeous new frame in orange Calvin Klein, Gwyneth Paltrow, in again in Calvin Klein, Amy Adams in L’Wren Scott, Annette Benning in Naeem Khan, Halle Berry in Marchesa and last but not least Mila Kunis in a gorgeous lilac Elie Saab Haute Couture

The best dressed of the night, by far, was the one and only Helena Bonham Carter. Many fashion critics detest her approach at unbridled originality and sardonic humor about clothes but I welcome it with not only open arms but an open mind. Having supported the famed costume designer Colleen Atwood, who won Best Costume Design for ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ she looked incredibly fashion forward. The opera gloves, the velvet bodice, even her Union Jack leg decal was all pure her. The thing about this type of exhibitionist flair is that fashion is meant to be fun and have fun with. There are two categories of people with style: those with regal poise and those with elegant fun. Carter is most definitely the latter. Many people have the gift of knowing not what looks good on them (even though that is definitely a good trait to have), but what makes them feel good. For a woman who has done many a period piece from the Merchant Ivory films of the 90s to her Tim Burton experiences in the next decade, she as a person, an actor, and a style icon shall always remain in the part of my brain that holds love.

Now, even though Colleen Atwood did a tremendous job on the costume design for ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ the nominee I was most excited for was Antonella Cannarozzi. She designed the luscious, ladies-who-lunch inspired looks featured in a film which I think should have been more celebrated. The film in question, ‘I Am Love,’ also failed to garner the amazing Tilda Swinton a nod in the Best Actress category. The fact that the Academy tends to suck the dicks of anybody who does a period piece should have been the first red flag but the fact that she got nominated may show a sense of youthfulness that I don’t think has ever been apart of it, even though the looks were inspired by Alfred Hitchcock. I also think it’s a travesty because she was in collaboration with my favorite designer Jil Sander and Fendi.

Overall, the ceremony wasn’t too bad, despite the fact that ‘The Social Network’ should have won Best Picture. ‘The King’s Speech’ might have been very good but the fact of the matter is ‘The Social Network’ was a movie that is definitive of the era that we live in. The story of triumph over adversity is great and all but more people are willing to shell out the ridiculous amount of bucks to go see a film proper if there is some more interesting intrigue and relatable situations. The Academy must begin to support movies that people actually watch more. This sentiment coming from me is quite the surprise. No one is more of a supporter of independent and foreign film than myself, however when there is an actually good film (such as ‘Inception’ or ‘The Social Network’ or ‘Toy Story 3’) and it was actually seen by people, it should be taken into account. If only that many people would return to watching the telecast.

Let me leave you all with one last note: James Franco is not funny and Anne Hathaway is unfunny. So there.

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