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Few acts of human sexuality have elicited as many myths and shame-inducing tactics as masturbation. We’re told we’ll go blind, grow hair on our palms, become drooling idiots or turn into lonely losers who can’t socialize. All kinds of creative torture machines like the “Penis Cooling Device” were marketed during the Victorian era to keep men from touching their naughty bits. All while medical masturbation was used by doctors on women as a cure for “female hysteria.” Crazy….

No wonder people feel weird about whacking off. Well, I’m here to tell you it’s okay to touch yourself. If you’ve already stopped reading this and are deep in your usual fantasy of being serviced by three strapping young acrobats– then good for you! The rest of you may need a little more convincing.

Reasons to Masturbate:

It feels good.
Duh. This is pretty much a no-brainer. Except that I know there are those of you who say you get bored trying to turn yourselves on. That’s lazy talk. Maybe you just haven’t found what works for you. Experiment. Try different positions, toys, fantasies. You deserve to be having incredible orgasms on your own. For more suggestions on what to try, pick up a copy of “Tickle Your Fancy: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Self-Pleasure” or “Sex for One.” They’re both incredible books.

It makes you realize how awesome you are.
Lots of people joke that masturbating is for losers who can’t get laid. That sounds like something a loser would say. Specifically, a loser who treats people like a masturbation sleeve. I deserve better. And, hell, because I masturbate I know I can give myself better. Jagging off is as essential to self-sufficiency as learning to tie your shoes. It means you don’t have to be nice to people you don’t like just because they might have sex with you (you know they were probably going to suck in bed anyway). Instead, go give yourself an orgasm- maybe even a few of them. Do it in front of a mirror so you can see how hot you are. Ultimate self esteem boost. And, when you’re all done, know that, yeah, you owned that shit.

Makes you a better lover.
Masturbation can help you get past certain sexual hurtles so you can deepen your pleasure. Learning to delay orgasm during a self loving session can help men overcome issues with premature ejaculation and help both men and women have more intense orgasms. Working through post-orgasmic sensitivity with more stimulation can also help men and women become multi-orgasmic. Polishing the pearl, choking the chicken— they’ll also help you figure out what you like so that you can confidently communicate that to your partner. Better yet, show them what you like to do when you masturbate.

It’s actually good for your relationship.
Some people might consider masturbating and fantasizing cheating. Um, no… pulling one off is probably more likely to keep a partner from straying. And even when we’re in a relationship, we’re still individuals with our own sets of desires. Openly sharing those fantasies (which don’t have to become realities) can help you build a strong sense of intimacy. And just because your partner has fantasized about the dentist doesn’t mean they don’t want you anymore and are going to leave you for that tooth-cleaning hussy. It does, however, present an opportunity for some interesting role playing games. “Now open wide, baby….”

It can cause world peace.
Masturbating more and doing it happily and without guilt is going to definitely have you in a better mood. You’ll be positively radiant. You’re going to be friendlier and less likely to kick someone’s ass. Now imagine if everyone in the world was having more orgasms and smiling more— with or without a partner. We could wank our way into a utopia! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go give myself the Nobel Peace Prize…

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