A&E El Blog

The Summer of Lube

Feature photo by Diego_3336

Dear Readers:

I want you slipping and sliding like your body is a water park. What better way to spend your summer?

But maybe you are one of those people who think they don’t “need” lube. Something I’ve noticed in my ongoing research of the human sexual condition is that some men and women are pretty obtuse about using lube. And that really sucks for their partners.  I’ve heard things like, “I don’t need lube, I can get her wet enough on my own” and “I don’t need lube, I ain’t all old and dried up.”

And while I’m sure your juices and skills are each lovely, lube isn’t necessarily about need. It’s more about safety and pleasure. Lube decreases friction, which in turn cuts down on sex related abrasions and reduces the risk of spreading STDs (still use protection though! Lube isn’t going to stop STDs on its own).  If you’re refusing to use lube with your partner because you think stimulation should be able to get you juicy enough, you’re keeping them from enjoying a smoother ride not to mention putting a lot of pressure on them to “perform” –either in terms of wetness or ability. Different factors affect a woman’s moisture level way before menopause. Stress, diet, even sleep level can lower your tide. If you’re using wetness as a measure of how much you turn your partner on or of your own feminine virility, you could be setting yourself up for a busted ass ego.

Okay. Now that I have opened your mind a bit to the pleasure of lubes with my Ode to Lube, you’re ready to hear a few fundamental guidelines:

Oil, lotion, butter, and all other kinds of other creative make shift lubes need to stay out of the vag. This includes putting it on the penis or toy which will later be in the vag. It can lead to some hard-to-explain infections.

Water based lubes are best for vaginal sex because they absorb into the body and you don’t have to worry about what happens to the vag-bound silicone. They are also best for when you’re using any kind of silicone toys. Silicone lube will ruin a silicone toy.

If you are sensitive to UTI’s and yeast infections, you want to make sure you avoid lubes with glycerin. It’s a kind of synthetic sugar used to enhance lube. Many flavored lubes use glycerin, so be cautious. Vegetable based glycerin is safer.

I like to recommend silicone lube for anal sex— it will be easily expelled and will last longer. Steer clear of any desensitizing lotions like Anal Ease. If you are in pain during anal sex, you’re doing it wrong and should stop.

There are also lubes to fit your green lifestyle. Good Clean Love is 95% organic and vegan friendly.

Watch out for warming gels. Depending on the brand, they can sometimes give a not-so-fun burning feeling. In general, however, cooling gels are a better bet. Who doesn’t want minty fresh genitals? Stimulating gels are also great because they work by increasing the blood flow to the area. Mmm…tingly!

Now that you know the basics, you’re ready for your own water sports. Just stay safe and don’t forget the life preserver!

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