Gozamos is proud to present EL CHORO, a monthly ‘news’ source for smart asses and sin vergüenzas. The series is written by Jaime de Leon, a comedian from La Villita. Check him out at shows around the city and at Pilsen Stand Up, a monthly stand up comedy show.


MORO, IL — Seasonal farmworkers of Kruckeberg Farms in southern Illinois, most of whom are Mexican migrants, got a big surprise today from their supervisor Scott Kruckeberg. The supervisor, who workers affectionately call “Pinche Escot,” decided to honor his workers’ heritage by letting them celebrate Cinco De Mayo with an extra 10-minute water break.

“I figure these poor sons-a-bitches won’t be able to celebrate their independence day ‘cause they’ll be workin’ here all day,” said the 28 year-old farm owner’s son. “I really love the 4th a’ July, so they must love Cinco De Mayo just as much, ya know?” continued Kruckeberg, who donned a sombrero and poncho as he invited everyone to come in from the fields.

The workers—who pick habanero peppers often in over 90 degree heat with their bare hands—were confused by Kruckeberg’s clothing and behavior. “We weren’t sure why they were calling us into the warehouse,” said Hipólito Jiménez, the group’s lead worker, “but then Pinche Escot told us we were getting an extra break for Cinco de Mayo.”

As the tired, sweaty workers lined up at a rainwater barrel, they were waved over by Kruckeberg who was having an ice-cold Modelo beer. “Pinche Escot invited us to drink out of the management’s filtered water cooler, which was crazy to us, because normally we’re just allowed to drink from the barrels outside that collect rainwater,” added Jiménez. However instead of drinking it, some of the workers used the clean water to wash out the burning from their eyes, caused by the habaneros and federally approved pesticides.

Most workers appreciated the extra rest, but not everyone was thrilled with the ethnic celebration. “No sé qué se trae el Pinche Escot, pero ese güero nos debe overtime del mes pasado,” proclaimed another worker, Javier Mesa, while others shook their heads in increasingly fired up agreement.

As the workers began to confront him about their overtime pay and working conditions, Pinche Escot abruptly ended the break and sent everyone back to work, telling them he was going to dock their pay for the extra break they just got.

“Ya know, you try to do something nice for these people, but not everyone appreciates it,” said Kruckeberg. Since he was already dressed in the traditional culturally insensitive costume of the holiday, he called it a day and headed to Chili’s for their margarita special and bottomless chips and salsa.

Share this! (You know you want to.)

Got something to say? Say it loud!