Baking.  Imagining the word brings up images of jovial grandmothers spending painstakingly long hours in the kitchen crafting pastries in wood burning ovens. That’s the image that comes up in my head anyway. I have never considered myself a fan of sweets or pastries for that matter. I much prefer an after dinner espresso or scotch on the rocks.

On a recent sunday I found myself with two things that I seldom have and a third which I frequently crave: 1. free time; 2. the urge to bake; and 3. biscuits and gravy. How was I to consolidate my free time, the urge to bake and a craving for a delicious southern delicacy? For answers I consulted with my trusty side-kick, Mycroft Holmes, the iPad.

The first page of Google was littered with lazy recipes involving pre-made biscuits and canned sausage gravy. This did nothing for me but make me cringe at the thought of what canned sausage gravy might look like. Consequently, I refined my search to homemade biscuits. Simple enough. I found a recipe and made it. It was exactly the homemade southern goodness I was looking for. A few days later I found myself craving biscuits. This time I was feeling more adventurous. This time I would experiment, and much to my surprise, the results were a delicious mouthgasm. The following are instructions on how to bake your very own mouthgasm: Bacon and Cheddar-stuffed Breakfast Biscuits…if you’re into that sort of thing.

What you will need :

  • An oven
  • An apron (it comes in handy)
  • 2 cups flour
  • 4 teaspoons baking powder
  • ¼  teaspoon baking soda
  • 4 tablespoons of butter
  • ¾ teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 1 lb. thick cut bacon (or your favorite meat substitute. Soy chorizo is my favorite)
  • ½ lb to 4 oz. cheddar (depends on how cheesy you want them)
  • 1-2 dashes of Louisiana Hot Sauce

How to do the deed :
Preheat your oven to roughly 350 degrees. While its preheating open your bacon and spread each strip out on two baking pans and stick it in the oven. Be sure to check on it while you are preparing and flipping it once in awhile. While your bacon is baking to perfection, pour your two cups of flour into a large bowl. Next add the baking powder, baking soda and salt. With a whisk mix all of the dry ingredients in the bowl for three to four minutes, ensuring that everything is properly mixed. Let the dry mix sit for a moment while you shred your cheese. Once your cheese is shredded, add it to your dry mix. Flip your bacon and proceed to the next step.

Place your butter in a small bowl and pop it in the microwave for about a minute so that it becomes more malleable, mix the butter into your buttermilk and add it to your dry mix. This is the fun part: With a spatula, fold the dry components into the liquid (your dough is well on its way). When most of the dry components are mixed, pour the contents of the bowl onto a flour-coated flat surface and begin kneading it with your hands. After kneading it for awhile, let it sit while you deal with your bacon.

Remove your delicious crisp bacon from the oven and place it all in a basket of paper towels removing the excess bacon fat. Once your bacon is degreased, put it in neat little stacks and dice it into bacon bits with your favorite knife. Place the bacon bits into a bowl and keep them near. With a rolling pin -the one your mother used to bonk you on the head with -spread your dough out onto your flat surface. With a knife or shape mold cut out your biscuit pockets. Take each individual biscuit and put about a tablespoon of bacon in the center of each. Engulf your bacon in dough. You should have a ball of cheese spiked dough with a wad of bacon in the center. Repeat until you are out of both ingredients. Place your dough balls onto a baking sheet with enough space between them to expand a little. Place in a preheated oven and cook until your dough balls are gold to light brown. This should take about 15-20 minutes.

You’re welcome.

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