A&E El Blog

Baby It’s Cold Outside

Feature photo by anacoreta

The nights are long, the weather sucks and no one feels like going outside. It’s the perfect time to find yourself a winter buddy and cuddle up until springtime.

There is nothing comfier than watching a blizzard attack the city while you are warm inside with the one you love (or at least seasonally tolerate). If you run out of food and chivalrously brave the storm to return with marshmallows and hot chocolate, you are instantly transformed into a hero. A sweet, brave, nurturing hero that needs to be warmed up. Combine that with the fact that chocolate increases your snow bunny’s heart rate and serotonin levels, and the situation is prime for seduction.

God, I love winter!

Being cold is the perfect excuse to find some body heat.

If you do have a winter buddy in mind, longer nights mean you have to step up your game. What may be a usual 20 minute wham-bam session of genital grinding just won’t cut it. If people are going to get naked this season, you REALLY have to make it worth their while.

Devote some extra time to massage and cuddling this winter. And I don’t mean the clumsy, absentminded kind that you do while you’re watching ‘The Big Bang Theory’ or whatever crap is on TV, really make the experience sensual. Start by turning off the TV (I do realize that winter is also couch potato season but sacrifices must be made). Only leave the TV on if you’re going to be watching a sexy video like the Better Sex Video: The Joy of Erotic Massage. If you don’t like all the talking involved in “educational” porn, just put it on mute, my loves. You can still enjoy the visuals. You can set the mood with music and candles and try some of the techniques recommended by the Erotic Massage Deck (cards, so much simpler. No need to read an entire book). Or you can massage intuitively, caressing and rubbing the areas that you sense your lover needs kneaded. Just resist the temptation to grab your winter buddy’s junk right away. Sure, this massage may have a happy ending, but the key word is “ending”.

Massage oil can help reduce friction and heighten sensuality. Kama Sutra has a great selection of massage oils with intoxicating scents. I like the Serenity oil myself. If your love muffin has a cold, I recommend Kama Sutra massage oil in Healing Blend. If they’re sick, you might not want to progress with the happy ending scenario, though or they might think you’re a jerk who only cares about sex but a nice eucalyptus scented massage should earn you brownie points for caring about them.

Kama Sutra also has these products called Kama Sutra Body Souffle in Chocolate is also amazing. Remember what I told you about chocolate? I suggest you try slathering it on your lover while also decorating their nipples with tiny marshmallows. Just please don’t spill your hot cocoa on your winter buddy– unless they’re into pain.

I’m also really excited about Good Clean Love’s Oil of Love sets. This company makes vegan, organic, petrochemical free products including incredible lubes and body candy. Their love oil is my favorite because it doesn’t smell the same on any two people. It actually mixes with your body’s chemistry to create a customized scent that works with your limbic system to enhance intimacy when used with a partner. I like to wear it alone, as a sort of fragrance to see what it can do for my love life this way. I’m convinced it’s a tiny bottle of magic.

Alright, so we’ve got massage covered. Cuddling is just as important and, like massage, is good for either foreplay, afterplay, or as a main event (although I find it very rude to not cuddle after sex. It’s just bad manners). I found a book called the Cuddle Sutra: An Unabashed Celebration of the Ultimate Intimacy that is perfect for winter buddies. So damned cute! It makes good points about how caressing and sweet words should be a standard part of your cuddle sessions. Awkward quiet cuddling is just, well, awkward. I feel the same is true of massage. It may seem like common sense, like duh, you should get all goopy and adorable when you’re cuddling, but romance doesn’t come easily to everyone. And it can be easy to forget the simplest of things when you find yourself in the same room with the one who already makes you forget it’s ten below.

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