Feature photo by greyloch
Okay. So your Halloween costume was amazing. You had all the honeys at the party swooning from your skills with the bedazzler. You spent all that mental effort/money/time on becoming the best working model of the solar system anyone has ever seen and, goddammit, you even included Pluto. But now that Halloween’s over you don’t want to let it all go to waste. So what do you do with your leftover Halloween costume?
Duh! You wear it during sex!
Now that we’re adults, we can admit that every costume has erotic potential (yes, especially you, guy dressed as a giant hot dog- there is nothing subconscious or Freudian about your choice of costume and you know it). Halloween is that magical time of the year where everywhere we look, we see people dressed as TV characters, icons, celebrities, members of various professions, supernatural creatures, and super heroes- many of which we have at one time or another fantasized about (Spiderman). Besides, a lot of Halloween costumes are actually designed to be sold as lingerie year round anyway. If you’ve ever thought that Halloween should be renamed Slut-o-ween, it’s not just your imagination. You can find these costumes around even in April. If you’ve ever wondered why anyone on earth would want to dress as a Sexy Bee on the 364 days of the year that aren’t Halloween, I’ll let you in on a little secret: role playing is hot. It can either make sex feel like a plot straight out of a porno or like incredible mind-gasming Nerd Sex. It can be whatever you want. And it all starts with a dirty joke.
Solar system costume? The dirty dialogue just flows. “Yeah, I’ve got your Big Bang Theory right here, baby.” “I want to orbit your spheres.” “You’re going to make my rocket blast off.” Things you might have slapped someone for having said to you at a costume party can be really hot when your partner says them to you in the heat of the moment. Sexy Bee costume? The scenarios are endless. Traditional Porn: The babysitter needs a ride home from her school play and you want to compare stingers. Dominatrix Scene: You can play Queen Bee and Obedient Drone and use words like “honey pot” and “nectar.” Nerd Sex: she can be the Lucky Apiologist and you’re the new species of bee she just discovered. Try using words like “ovipositor” if you want to get really nerdy and technical (which I always do…).
Sure, all this sounds silly and weird and that’s the point! Silliness is a good way to bond. People tend to take sex way too seriously. A good sense of humor and the willingness to try something new is sometimes all that’s needed to push your sex life to a new level. And you don’t really have to go all that far out with your role playing. The old standbys of Doctor and Nurse, Priest and Sinner, Teacher and Student may seem like clichés, but they’re classics for a reason. It’s totally up to you how creative you want to get and how much you decide to develop your dialogue, scene, and outfit to fit your fantasy. You can even combine your costume ideas into a kinky pairing and write some wicked erotica together if you’re not comfortable enough to act the scene out yet (Sherlock Holmes and the Lion Tamer suspected of murder….). For more information on role playing, the Sexy Librarian in me recommends you read The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Turn Your Fantasies into Reality.
Essentially, if your partner is cool enough to explore your fantasies by having sex with you dressed as a penguin, then that’s awesome. And if they don’t want to, that’s cool too. It just means that maybe asking for a threesome won’t sound as weird to them now (also, you might be a Furry).
And just for the hell of it, here’s a link to that scene in The Sweetest Thing where Selma Blair has sex with a guy in an elephant costume. Enjoy!