Growing up in a Hispanic household, it was hard to get away with anything without having to endure a dramatic speech from either my mother or father about how my single action will kill my father and prove that I simply didn’t care about my parents and was therefore a horrible son; or maybe that was just my certifiable family. The point is the Cortes kids could not get away with anything, even faking sick. At some point in the seventies my mother was a nurse, which meant that there was always a cure readily available for whatever last minute ailment struck one of us on that particular weekday morning. The cures that my mother would provide would range from the traditional Robitussin for a cough to the traditional banana licuados spiked with an egg for heartiness and bowel regularity. The following is a list of the top 5 Dr. Má cures and remedies for some common boo-boos from my childhood.

1. Tummy trembling from some bad street tamales?
Are you cursing the little old woman that sold them to you ? Battle el chorro by taking a lemon or two and squeezing them into a glass and then filling the remainder with Coke. Consuming your new concoction, you will find that you have fought off the wrath of Moctezuma better than Spanish cavaliers. (What too soon ?)

2. Trouble sleeping?
Run to your kettle and fill it with té de manzanilla and consume till passed out. Funny fact: I was 22-years-old before I realized that té de manzanilla was actually chamomile tea.

3. Out in the sun a bit longer than your lilly-white ass should have been?
A remedy for the lobster-toned flesh that you now sport is in your mother’s potted plant collection–that cactus-looking plant with the fat leaves, Aloe Vera. Tear off some leaves and rub your burned ares with its goopy innards, and the pain will stop.

4. Eat too much Lucas and have a massive stomachache?
Settle a stomachache with Topo Chico. Readily available at your local Mexican grocery store, this Mexican-made mineral water with large bubbles settles the worse stomach problems.

5. Crudo?
Pozole will not only comfort you but it will also detox you and rid you of your awful hangover, providing you are up for eating.

I hope these remedies from Má’s years of wisdom can help you out some rainy day.

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